Hide The Women, Children And Gold

I can neither confirm nor deny that agents of the U.S. government will kill your momma, brainwash your kids, or confiscate your gold. So remember, you heard it here first. Furthermore, I urge all loyal Americans, especially those who have gold fillings or want to protect their families from evil maniacs, to help this humble writer spread an important, nation-saving message: Glenn Beck is batshit crazy.

Seriously, he is. End of story.